My Auntie C has this incredible knack for empowering parents. She can bring the whole "parenting" thing down to my level and compress loads of information in to tiny conversations. Every time I get off the phone with her, wiping my tears of frustration, I want to squeeze my kids a little harder and jump back in to the game.
On thing she always reminds me to do is play. Play with the kids, no matter what, just play. Playing is one of the ways to see in to our kids' hearts and thoughts. Play is how children learn about the world. And when you play with them, you learn lots about them and what they are thinking and experiencing. It is also a great time to form warm connection. There is tons of research and info about play and its importance. All you have to do is google "playing with your child," and you'll find some great info.
When Auntie encouraged me to take time- 15 minutes, twice a day to be exact- to actually sit down and just play with my kids, I rolled my eyes and thought, " yeah, big deal. like this is going to make some big difference." What was most surprising was that I had a very difficult time finding those 30 minutes a day to DO it! It was pretty pathetic that I couldn't find the time, especially when I was with them all day, every day. I have the good fortune to stay home with my three muffins, but what I do most of the time is shuffle them from room to room and place to place. What did I know of their little worlds? To be honest, not much. When I did take the time to sit and play, I heard a lot of what I say to them: in a minute, quit that, be nice, please be quieter. Wow.
I also noticed that they wanted to play baby a lot- not with a pretend baby, but wanting ME to be their baby and they are the momma. I would squirm and cry and ask for food and milk and they would hop to attention at the least little whimper. They wanted me. They wanted my attention and when they had it, they couldn't do enough nice things for me. I was rocked and loved and petted and I realized how much they love me and how little time I devote to just them. They were also showing me exactly how they wanted to be treated. I got the message loud and clear that play was my way of showing them how much I love them and how much I want to know and be a part of their world- not just a traffic cop and school teacher on the periphery of their life.
Really, if I can't be a part of their world now, why do I think I will be extended the invitation when they get older? I have to make time now or it will be too late and the door will close and playtime will be over.
Thanks Auntie C.
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