Chapter Two: Let them eat cake

I have heard many comments about how great my kids eat. I don't take any credit for this. Some kids are wild, spontaneous, and adventureous. Some kids aren't. I got lucky.
I have learned that through all the ups and downs of eating, ultimately, I can't control what they put in their mouths. All I can do is offer good choices. If they have a table full of good choices, why do I care if they only eat one of those items in bulk? Why stress about them pigging out on apple slices or strawberries for 2 days straight?
I have also figured out that there is no rhyme or reason as to what they will want today vs tomorrow. Baby Jack will eat 3 cups of green beans one day and the next, totally turn up his nose. And I can't help but be a little annoyed that I went to the trouble of cooking him a nutritious and delicious lunch of green beans and it's a wasted effort. I think I feel, irrationally, unappreciated and rejected. But I get over it.
I love seeing my kids enjoying a Lentil Loaf or bowl of hummus and carrot sticks. I am thrilled when my kids eat salads and praise them when they try something they don't think they will like. I am learning not to take it personally when they don't like what I have fixed. But I am not a short order cook and I refuse to cook a separate meal for them. They may eat what we are eating as a family or not eat at all.
We have a few table rules: wash your hands before sitting at the table, stay on your bottom the whole time, don't eat during the prayer, if you ask for second helpings, be prepared to eat them, you may not have dessert unless you have eaten your meal, and you must wait for everyone to finish before leaving the table.
Do we ever eat hot dogs and pizza? Do my children know what a slush is? Do we eat out? Yes. But there is a balance.
We have many conversations about our food and where it comes from. We share what we know about the meat we choose to eat and why we avoid certain things. We talk about the food chain and life cycle and chemicals and anitbiotics and high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils. I don't expect them to understand it all, but I want them to know that I think it's important and relavant for them to be included. I want them to grow up aware of who they are, where they come from, and how their choices affect their bodies and world.
I want stress free and guilt free gatherings at the table. Life spills out of people and time stands still when sharing a meal. I don't want to my children to feel pressure or fear, rather joy and thanksgiving and adventure. And coming together only on special occasions or certain nights is shameful in my book. This is one of the few times we sit, as a family, and look one another in the eye and talk and touch and laugh. The act of sharing food connects us to one another and to our Creator. Meals are sacred. So turn off the television and pay attention to each other. Turn off the lights and light the candles. Toast to one another and to the accomplishments of the day. Invite friends and neighbors to break bread with your family and don't be afraid to have a messy kitchen and linger a bit longer than usual at the table. Your children will see this and soak it in. They will begin to understand that food not only nourishes our bodies, but nourishes hearts and relationships as well.

Meals should be fun and if they aren't something is wrong.

Include your kids in the preparation and clean up. Invite them to help you pick the perfect tomato and the right amount of herbs. Show them how to smell for the sweetness of the cantaloupe and and look for the unblemished apples. Let them knead the bread and feel the smooth texture and smell the yeast. My girls are delighted when I allow them to assist me in the kitchen. I love to watch them peruse the spices in my cabinet, smelling and giggling and talking about what they see and smell. And I think that this is where it all begins. The love affair with food.

I pray that my children will eat responsibly and with an adventurous spirit. I hope they will learn to cook and cook well. I hope that when they work hard on a new recipe and when it totally flops, they won't lose the heart to try something new again. I pray that they won't ever self medicate with food, filling the empty, lonely places in their hearts with calories. I hope they will make good choices now and when they have families of their own gathered in their kitchens. And I pray that I will be invited to dine frequently in their homes and around their tables and enjoy my family and the bounty of my life.