trying this again

http://web.me.com/gingeramyteague/www.teaguenest.com/Welcome.html

unfortunately, I am a ding dong when it comes to this stuff. So try this link instead to find our new homepage.
Peace~

hookin' it up

I am going to try to move my blog to my new website...
www.teaguenest.com

follow me there

morning at Philbrook

things to come

I think I might officially become "high tech" here soon!

I am investing in a new computer (should arrive this week) and I recently bought a new camera. What that means is I can share pictures and family news more easily!!

So stay tuned for Teague Scoop... I can't wait to get started.

day off

today I woke to thunder. the coolness of the early morning rolled my curtains and I breathed in the wetness of rain. I rolled over to find soft baby skin and the rough, over-washed, ever-loved, slightly smelly blankie. I heard "funder" and "scary". I fell back to sleep spooning baby boy.

I ground coffee beans this morning and drank deeply of the milky sweetness from my favorite mugs.

I dashed around town and came to rest at a park over looking a river. I sat with a friend. The breeze was soft and cool and the sun made a beautiful day. I watched my boy splash and laugh and climb.

I ate chocolate and bought more for later.

I smelled all the dish soaps and chose just the one.

I crunched ice.

I sat on the edge of a swimming pool and finally got in. It was cold and nice. I listened to giggles. I watched the girls be brave and try new things.

I reconnected with a friend.

I went to the fire station and got a kiss.

I wondered when Poppy grew so tall.

I ate black beans with goat cheese and spring greens.

I made a double batch of granola and the warmth of the oven made my AC kick on. My water fountain gurgled the whole time. The house smells like cinnamon and toasted oats.

I checked my tomatoe plants and planted squash. I weeded and had to scrub my nails.

I read books to the kids and fell asleep while Maggie read to me.

I see fire flies outside my window tonight.

My babies are tucked in and smell like sweat and sunscreen and sunshine. They are sun-kissed and soft.

They are beautiful.

I am listening to a favorite song and wishing I had a good book waiting for me beside my bed.

I work tomorrow.

Tonight I am home.

the latest

ok. working full time is exhausting.

can I say that again? working full time is exhausting!!

I think I need to exercise more or eat more carrots and apples, but to be honest, working full time makes me (I repeat, MAKES me) eat crap. I crave cheez-its, m&m's, and fizzy drinks. And then I feel worse. And fat. And working full time in a clothing store and eating crap is bad combo- then I just look fat in my new clothes.

So here's the news in a nutshell.
Maggie lost her third tooth this week. This was the first time I witnessed the trauma. She is so cute with the huge hole- and her sweet, precious sister's first words were, "Sister, you look beautiful with a gap." If you don't know it, Poppy has the cutest little gap in her front teeth. I hope she never, ever grows out of it. It would break my heart. Oh, and we are not allowed to call her "cute" anymore. She can be called beautiful, gorgeous, and pretty, but absolutely not CUTE. That's for babies, or didn't you know?

Our house is back on the market. I feel the anxiety of a dirty house creeping into my shoulder blades as I sit here frittering away time I could be vacuuming. The fireman is in the kitchen laying tile and it's looking really, really good. I think our biggest drawback is the missing fence in the back yard... what an eyesore a highway can be!

Our tomatoe plants are looking fabulous. And my zinnias and cosmos are all peeking their heads out too. My sunflowers are about 4 inches tall and we have tadpoles with legs too.

Jack is growing like crazy and actually told me I looked gorgeous this afternoon when I got home from work. Does it get sweeter than that? I'm just not sure.

Poppy decided to share the thoughts that spin around in her head this week. She thinks a lot, but when probed she always responds the same way.... "what are you thinking about, Poppy?" and she will brightly respond, "pizza". It never fails. But this week she approached the fireman and asked, "Dad, if Jesus loves everyone, then why do bad things happen to them?" OK, could she be the next John Calvin or Martin Luther? Maybe St. Augustine? Wow. So all the times we have thought pizza was the only thing on her mind, she is trying to resolve the long standing questions of the some of the greatest minds of all time.... shocker.

I am feeling a bit disconnected from friends and family.
I rarely talk on the phone.
I am not a letter writer.
I don't have time for email.

I have a few faithful friends that check in on a regular basis and aren't offended when they don't hear back from me for a day or two.
Some have given up I think.

I have been harboring secret feelings of jealousy lately... jealous that other people get to hang out with people. For fun. For leisure. What is wrong with me?

I picked up a book this week. One of my most favorite authors claims this as her favorite, favorite, desert island book- Ernest Hemingway's A Moveable Feast. It is good. I don't know that I would put it up there as a top 10, but it is an enjoyable read. I am only 1/3 through so it may improve and blow my mind.

Speaking of reading, Maggie is reading everything she can get her hands on. Hard to believe coming from a girl who cried through her phonics lessons. What a difference a year can make.

Off to read Hemingway.

Holy is the Lord

In the world there is so much joy and sorrow it feels crushing sometimes. How do you grieve over tragedy and celebrate new life all at once? It is overwhelming to have your heart split down the middle. Don't get me wrong... I need a good cry, a purge of sorts, every so often. It feels so good to cry it all out. It cleanses and frees me. And God knows I love to laugh. I love the gut-wrenching, head ache-inducing, hysterical laugh and I don't have enough of those. It's the mix of crazy laughing and uncontrollable weeping that brings me to my knees and catches me off guard- when suddenly I don't know what I am feeling or why I am curled up in a ball.
In many ways, my life has slowed down- or rather paced itself lately. I get up and know what my day will look like and although I don't have enough time for everything, I at least have a plan. It feels good to be out of limbo land and into goal setting mode.
I have a new job. It is so nice to be able to go into work and do something I feel successful at and that I enjoy the people I am with 9 hours of the day. I wish I was making music instead of building walls, but the newness makes me excited. I feel valued and it satisfies a part of me that needs a sense of accomplishment.

I have come to a peace with God lately. I am dwelling on scripture more often and raising my hands over his goodness. My baby is healthy and well. My husband is happy and loving. My bills are paid and I am content. I am slowly letting go of things that need to go and trying to focus more on what's slipping away that needs to be taken hold of.

I am one of "those people" who often flip to the end of a book to read the last paragraph to know that all the characters are still alive... and I am the same with my own life. How often do I say and think, "if I could just see us a year from now, 5 years from now!" But it's in the looking over your shoulder that you see the obvious footprint of God and the powerful hand that carries. He has listened to me rant and scream and weep until I was silenced.
I look back over the last year and realize with certainty that I was deeply depressed. I had sunk into a pit and with my fingernails, clawed my way out. There were moments on the way up that a hand of a friend would give me loving push. I think those friends would actually qualify as angels- small bits of light that kept me moving up and out. I have been humbled as I bargained. My eyes were veiled as I tried to see the future. God allowed what I could handle. Jesus comforted and gave grace to cover my hopelessness. I am walking with my head up, my eyes opened, marveling at the mercies, however small, in my every day.
I marvel over the bodies of my babies. They are beautiful. Their skin is sweet and soft. Their eyes clear and bright. Their minds are brilliant sponges, soaking up our world and seeing their maker in the dandelions. Their hearts are pure and forgiving. Thank you God for my precious ones that remind me of your love and call.
And now I dance in the rain and sing Your praises. Holy is the Lord, Holy is the Lord! The Lord I will obey. Help me. I don't know the way. Holy is the Lord!