hmmmmm.... not sure where to begin. I think I start every journal/diary with that exact phrase. Where do I begin? I wish I knew. If only I had been better at keeping a journal of my life and then I could just pick up where I left off last time. But I haven't- so there's the predicament.
To begin with, at 33 years old, I am a mom of 3 beautiful children. It is kind of a love/exasperation relationship. Somedays I am so enraptured I can hardly make it through the day without crying with joy. Other days I cry out for deliverance from my crazy, out of control life. I have a hard time not having control. I think it must be a struggle that all moms deal with. Honestly, where is the fun in life if you are in control all the time?
OK- getting back to the basics here.... I live in Tulsa, OK and am happily married to a beautiful, beautiful man. We moved here 3 years ago from Seattle, WA and I think I left part of my heart there. I have felt a lonely ache for "home" since our departure. Life just seemed real and genuine there. That isn't to say it was perfect or easy- NO way! It was very difficult a lot of the time. But it grew us and stretched us and opened our eyes to our world.
I have been married 10 years now. Mr T says we are like bacteria- we keep multiplying. I think we have stopped that now and are so happy with our little family.
From the outside in, my life is pretty perfect. I live in the U.S. which is a big plus. I enjoy freedoms, leisure, variety, faith, and food. But from the inside out, I have lost myself along the way. Some days I just feel totally desolate, like a wanderer who can't remember home. Where did I go? Who am I? What is my life about?
I think as I have watched many of my friends enter the life of blogging, and have read their real life stories only told honestly in the world of the web, it has inspired me to take my search and blog it out. Soul search online. I am anonymous and me all at the same time.
So here it is...first things first. I have no ideas, I am stumped. BUT I am going to figure it out... this is my first step.
cheers!
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