Middle of Nowheresville

I am going on day 15 out here in seclusion. The outside world is still jostling along at a very fast pace, and our days are drifting. Time seems to slow here. I look out the window at the water and leaves falling and I feel relaxed and quieted.

I am also ready to crawl back into my nest and settle in. It is difficult to be displaced with small children. We have had a few casualties while here: a broken picture frame, some lamps falling over, drinks spilling, and I feel more anxious than normal since these are not my things.

The stillness and solitude is startling. I realize how loud life can be and it brings me back to my core to have nothing to do and no one to talk to. My cell phone doesn't work out here and I feel bad to make long distance calls. So aside from emergencies, my social life, however small it is, is put on hold.

Could I live out here permanently? I don't know. If I had a cottage to do as I wanted and a girlfriend nearby to visit with and hang with, craft with and school with, I think I could. But I am a talker and with no one over 6 years old, days can become quite lonely. However, I have enjoyed the escape and retreat from normal life and feel ready to tackle the chaos when we return home.

I feel very out of touch with almost everyone. It's been a strange and busy Fall season for our family. My trip to Scotland, homeschooling, teaching art classes, and preparing for craft shows has eaten spare time and sucked away my usual visiting hours and time set aside for hospitality. We rarely make it to church, don't meet with our small group, sleep very little, and still, have a to do list a mile long.

I am looking for ways to simplify, to scale down, to organize my time and build routine. We are a family of sponteneaty and I think that's why I feel out of control so much of the time which leads to feelings of anxiety and being overwhelmed. I am trying to be better at cutting myself some slack. I am working on realizing I do a lot of unnecessary things. So now I need to move into days of structure where I feel a sense of accomplishment, having found time for things that are important.

ideas anyone??