summertime

The heat is rolling in earlier and earlier. My six a.m. walks are becoming increasingly more miserable as the thick blanket of humid heat silently descends, making me sweat and smell. I try to tell myself it will help me flush the toxins and yuck and that my sweatiness is a good sign that my metabolism is kicking up a notch.
But to be honest, I hate the heat. I don't like that by evening I have a headache from squinting all day. It's ten o'clock on a Sunday morning and I don't want to leave my house because it's already 85.

I wish it could be spring all year- or go from spring to fall and then back to spring. Extreme weather is just not for me- especially the heat.

On a brighter note, I harvested tomatoes this morning. I hated doing it since they are from the fireman's beloved plants and he is away, but I don't want to risk the squirrels taking off with them. I got about 10 red currant tomatoes, one yellow pear, and two Cherokee Purples. Now what shall I do with them?

The fireman is working 4 days, back to back. That means in 4 days he has worked 96 hours. That also means that I have been a single mom for 96 hours straight. Thankfully, I have had some company here and there and for that, my children should be very grateful. I am just so tired today and wish I could crawl in to bed and be alone.

I was trying to think of when was the last time I did something alone for me. I will occasionally run to the grocery store alone or pick up a birthday gift for someone. But for me to take off and do whatever I want just doesn't happen. I wish I could have a few hours a week to just sit and stare at the walls- not cleaning or doing laundry. Just sit in peace. I feel bombarded and emptied out. I am spent.

I will close for now. I have so much rolling around in my head I don't even know where to begin. I need to process things, but can't really pull my thoughts together enough to form thoughts or opinions. So instead, I am going to load the kids into the 400 degree car and go for a ride.